Nail clippers, tools that we use every day for hygiene and to keep ourselves fresh and clean. Something small and none imposing, until you have to use them on tiny hands that don’t like to sit still. The first month of my daughter living in this world we were informed to cover her little hands with mitts or sleeve cuffs, so her nails didn’t cut into her little face. That and if we cut her nails to soon, she could get an infection, or we could cause her extreme distress. My partner and I listened and waited to get the green light from the pediatrician before we moved forward with nail maintenance.
At first, I used a nail file, the nails were so soft that all it took was a pass or two, and they were finished. No muss, no fuss. Getting her while she was eating was also a good tactic because she didn’t fight me or try to move away, she focused on her milk coma. But as the days went on her nails got a bit harder, they were growing at such a rapid pace that I had to upgrade beyond the file. Enter the nail clippers. Baby nail clippers are small and dainty and also have a safety measure or two to ensure their function. But these little tools can still be a terror.
When I broke them out for the first time for a rouge hang nail on the toe. And in one quick motion while she was napping, I had managed to take care of it. Then came the use of them on her actual little fingers. I remember I was nervous the whole time, managed to balance a bottle on my shoulder, so I could have her distracted and have use of both of my hands. By taking my time and waiting for her little shimmies to pass, I managed to get her little fingers done. Feeling confidant, I used a nail file to finish up the little remaining edges and for a few days all was right in the world. No little scratches on her, and none on us either which is always an added bonus.
But as time would have it, and as they tend to do, nails grew back. Utilizing the same method of the time before, bottle balanced, baby distracted, I went to work. Nail by nail I went, feeling more and more confidence as I did. Then came the dreaded turning point. Her bottle ran dry right as I was on her last finger, her little thumb. I thought “this is fine, it’s the last one, I have this,” only to be proven quite wrong by a little hand that realized it did not want to be held in place. I lined up the clippers, went to do the cut, and wouldn’t you know it, baby fussed and pulled her little hand away. Next thing I knew I had quite an upset and distressed baby and blood pouring from a fresh little cut. Thankfully it wasn’t deep, and I could dress it and wrap it up well. Or it should have been easy if not or the fact that I was crying as much as the baby.
Though it wasn’t on purpose, it can be an unfortunate accident that happens. When little fingers don’t want to be held, they REALLY don’t want to be held. It genuinely is something that can come with the territory. Confidence gone now, I dread the moment I feel the bite of little nails into my skin, or see a little scratch pop up on her chubby little cheeks. Because I know the shiny little finger traps have to be used again. I still try to use the nail file when I can to manage what I can, but it can only do so much, and the clippers have to be used. I will be more cautious, now more than ever before, and try to keep an eye on how much is in her bottle as I go. But every time I have to break out the clippers, my anxiety rises with them as they reach her fingers. I don’t want to hurt her again, and I know that if it happens, I may cry more then she does.
A Day in the Life 